课前五分钟智力趣味幽默由刀豆文库小编整理，希望给你工作、学习、生活带来方便，猜你可能喜欢“课堂五分钟演讲幽默”。
Are you going to treat me? An American actre came to China for the first time.One day when she was looking for her new Chinese friend after a performance, she came acro an anxious Chinese who had always wanted to practice his English with native speakers, but had never found the chance.When he saw the actre, he went up and exchanged greetings, then started his practice.“How old are you?”
“I‟m sorry.Please don‟t ask a lady about her age,” the actre said uneasily.“How much do you earn each month?” the Chinese tried hard to recall this sentence from his textbook.“Sorry again.We don‟t feel like telling others about that either, “ she again refused to answer.“Have you had lunch?” the Chinese tried again to show his traditional way of greeting.“No, are you planning to treat me to a meal?‟ she asked in surprise.你要请客吗？
有位美国女演员首次来中国演出，有一天演出结束后在找她的中国朋友时，碰见一位总想与老外练讲英语的中国人，可惜他一直没有这样的机会。当看到这位女演员时，他走上前去互相问候，接着便练起英语来。
“你多大啦？”
“对不起，请不要问女士的年龄，”演员感到很不自在。
“你每月挣多少钱？”中国人极力回忆着教科书上的句子。
“对不起，我们也不愿意把这事告诉给人家。”她再次拒绝了对方。
“你吃过饭了吗？” 中国人再次用本民族的传方式询问对方。
“没有，你要请我吃饭吗？”她惊喜地问。
Busy with appointments Two friends meet in the street when the following conversation takes place.Jane: “Well, you know, I have so many appointments with my doctor these days.”
Mary: “nothing wrong with me physically.The doctor is my fiancée.”
忙于约会
两个朋友在街上见面后说了下面这段话。珍妮：“最近没有见到您，忙什么呢？”
玛丽：“哦，您知道，我最近一直在忙着看医生。” 珍妮：“您患了什么病？” 玛丽：“我的身体没患任何病，医生是我未婚夫。”
More intelligent in Dreams When a student failed to solve a math problem in cla, he expreed his regret to his teacher.“I remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being I‟ve forgotten it.What can that mean?”
“It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you are awake.” The teacher explained.梦中更聪明
一名没学生在班上没有做出老师的数学题，他感到很遗憾，对老师解释说；“我记得昨天夜里做梦时这道题解对了，但现在一时想不起了。这说明什么？” “这说明你做梦的时候比你醒着的时候更聪明。”
Alone and Lonely William Henry is a young American profeor who has been teaching in a Chinese college for three years.He is popular among his students for his student for his intelligence and patience.He also has several favorite students.Among them is a beautiful girl, the monitor of the cla, who has left a deep impreion on him with her active cla performance.After the last cla before graduation, the girl asked the young profeor a question as she had done before.“Mr Henry, would you tell me the difference between „alone‟ and „lonely‟?”
“Well, …let me explain this with my own example,” the young teacher started.“I live alone.That means that I live by myself, without the company of others.But I don‟t feel lonely because I have so many students around me, especially you.You‟re special to me.So after your graduation please don‟t leave me alone, or I‟ll feel lonely.Catch the meaning now?”
孤独和孤单
威廉·亨利是一位年轻的美国教授，他在中国一所大学任教已有三年了，他知识渊博，又耐心，深受学生欢迎。他还有几位得意门生呢。有一位漂亮的女班长课堂积极活跃而讨教师欢心。在毕业前的最后一节课上，这位女生又像往常一样提问题。
“先生，请您讲解一下‘alone‟和 „lonely ’这两个英语单词的区分好吗？”
“噢，…让我用自身举例吧。我独自住，那就是说，我没跟其他人一起住。但我并不感到孤单，因为我周围有这么多学生，特别是有你在。你是那么与众不同。因此，毕业后，请不要让我独自一人，否则我会感到孤单的，现在你能明白了吧”
Be a Little Patient A man suddenly found that he was shrinking.Each day he was getting smaller and smaller.Very worried, he went to the doctor‟s office.“I‟ve got to see the doctor!” the man demanded, frantically.“He‟s very busy,” the nurse calmly replied.“Just take a seat and be a little patient.”
小病人
一位男子突然发现自己越来越矮，他担忧地走进一家诊疗所。“我要见大夫！”他着急地喊叫。
“他正忙着呢。”护士镇定地说。“你就坐着当个小病人吧。（耐心地等吧）。”
（英文单词patient作名词时有“病人”的意思，而用形容词时有“耐心的”意思。）
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