第1篇：幽默英语演讲稿)
篇1：幽默英语演讲稿 幽默英语演讲稿
love your mother 爱你的母亲
why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答
his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候, 他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候, 我决定把她造的很特别, 我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection even from her own children.我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛, 也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardne that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickne and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友, 甚至当每个人都放弃的时候, 她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤 害她的时候．．．
她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．
i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．
i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心． for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakne....when you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因为这些种种的困难，我也同样赐她流下眼泪，这是当她在需要时可以使用的，这是她唯一的软弱之处．．．
当你看到她哭泣的时候，告诉她你有多么地爱她，告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，但你会使她的心里得到安慰． she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.她是独特的！
请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人，有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人． but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.each day is a mountain that must be climbed;with courage each step gets easier.但是，也把这个信息传递给男人，因此他们会明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物． 每一天，生活中都会有必须爬的山，但是勇气会使每一步都更轻松． love your mother always 永远爱你的母亲，and keep her smiling 并且使她微笑常在篇2：幽默英语演讲稿 幽默英语演讲稿
love your mother 爱你的母亲
why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答
his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候, 他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候, 我决定把她造的很特别, 我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection even from her own children.我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛, 也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardne that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickne and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友, 甚至当每个人都放弃的时候, 她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候．．．
她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．
i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．
i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心． for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakne....when you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因为这些种种的困难，我也同样赐她流下眼泪，这是当她在需要时可以使用的，这是她唯一的软弱之处．．．
当你看到她哭泣的时候，告诉她你有多么地爱她，告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，但你会使她的心里得到安慰． she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.她是独特的！
请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人，有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人． but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.each day is a mountain that must be climbed;with courage each step gets easier.但是，也把这个信息传递给男人，因此他们会明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物．
每一天，生活中都会有必须爬的山，但是勇气会使每一步都更轻松． love your mother always 永远爱你的母亲，and keep her smiling 并且使她微笑常在篇3：新初中幽默英语演讲稿 新初中幽默英语演讲稿 love your mother 爱你的母亲
why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答
his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候, 他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候, 我决定把她造的很特别, 篇4：英语演讲幽默开场白 英语演讲幽默开场白
作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。
作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。
幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。
演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡 poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program---and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。
过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。
i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked.and so, at this very moment, i’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked.and it really works.i no suffer from nervousne.eyestrain.yes 幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。
创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常 紧张。
我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。personally, i have never been conceited---and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。
创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我.我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。
let me put this into plain english.i’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？
如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one i know.幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。
创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。
演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。
making a speech is like watering a lawn.you’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。
幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。
创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么 开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。
before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television.i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。
可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，——他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。
幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。
创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢？
篇5：我写的搞笑的英文演讲稿 我写的搞笑的英文演讲稿
once god came up two me & granted me a dream to be realize.i asked 4 world peace.that’s impoible, he said.有一次上帝来到我面前答应了实现我一个梦想。我说我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他说。
then i asked him to give you brains.he said, let me try world peace.然后我请让你变聪明。他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧。”
篇6：幽默式英语演讲开场欣赏 幽默式英语演讲开场欣赏 *in a humorous way #幽默式开场欣赏
judging the value and the authors achievements is up to the 敬爱的同志们，我觉得，提到高尔基的名字时，常常会加上一些度量的形容词，如伟大的、高尚的、高大的等等。如果老是过分地强调和抬高一个人物，我们就会使别人的成就和重要性失去光彩，这一点，你们没有想到吧？请相信我，我并不是故意讲漂亮话，也不是装模作样。有许多重要的原因使我不能不说这些话。打个比方说，在这里，我们大家的年龄尽管相差很大，然而都是同一个很年轻的母亲──全苏联文学的孩子。
衡量一个作家的成就，是读者的事；说明一部文学作品的社会意义是批评家的事。
第2篇：幽默英语演讲稿
幽默英语演讲稿
使用正确的写作思路书写演讲稿会更加事半功倍。在生活中，演讲稿使用的情况越来越多，那么你有了解过演讲稿吗？以下是小编整理的幽默英语演讲稿，希望能够帮助到大家。
幽默英语演讲稿1
牧童和狼
A Shepherd-boy, who tended his flock not far from a village, used to amuse himself at times in crying out“wolf !wolf!”Twice or thrice his trick succeeded .The whole village came running out to his assistance when all the return they got was to be laughed at for their pains .At last one day the wolf came indeed .The boy cried out in earnest. But his neighbors, supposing him to be at his old sport, paid no heed to his cries, and the wolf devoured the sheep. So the boy learned, when it was too late, that liars are not believed even when they tell the truth.
一个放羊的孩子在离村子不远的地方放羊。他为了开心寻乐常喊：“狼来了!狼来了!”他的恶作剧有两三次达到了目的。全村的人都跑来帮忙，而他们所得到的回报却是一顿嘲笑，白费了心力。最后，有一天狼真的来了。这个孩子认真地大喊起来。但是他的邻人们却以为他又在耍把戏，谁都不理会他的喊叫，于是狼把羊吃了。因此这牧童得到了教训：爱说谎的人，甚至在他说真话的时候，也没人相信他，但是他知道得太晚了。
幽默英语演讲稿2
Good morning teachers and fellow students. Today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you.
My favorite book is (Italian: Cuore). This is a diary written by an Italian boy Enrico. The diary is about his life and study. It included various touching stories that happened around Enrico, the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten “monthly” stories told by his teacher during the class. Every word in the chapter describes the word “love”. From patriotism to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching.
This novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love. I really like this book very much. How about you? What is your favorite book?
My favorite book is . Have you read it before?
Oh, I haven t read this book before. What is it about?
Well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bankruptcy of her father. The story is happy ending.
Can you tell us why you love this book so much?
Sure. It is because the story taught us to be brave and to face the challenges and difficulties with courage. I am deeply impressed by the strength and perseverance of the little princess in the story. I have decided to learn from her from now on.
Oh I see, the story sounds very good. I cannot wait to read this book as well.
幽默英语演讲稿3
One of the most popular hobbies among people is reading books. More and more people spend their spare time in reading the books they are interested in.
There are so many books in the world that it is impossible for any one to read all of them, even if he spends his whole life in reading. Before we start reading, we should find out whether it is valuable for us to read.
Reading good books is one of the greatest pleasures in life. It can enrich our knowledge. It makes us learn lots of things we did not previously know. We can be aware of what had happened in the past as well as what is happening in the present time. The more books we read, the more knowledge we get. No matter how much education we receive or how much expensive we have, we can not become a full man unless we keep reading.
Reading bad books will lead you to a wrong way and prevents you from progressing. It’s worse than reading nothing. So we know how important it is to read good books.
book can be read at random time if you have leisure, and there never be a time limitation. Also, you can read a book to achieve a more really history. Through a book, you can communicate with its author without other’s transmission. All these rarely can be easily achieved by a television.
Furthermore, book is a treasure that has developed centuries. As we know when written language appeared, human beings became use it to record their lives, and this action leaves us a lot of historic precious mineral. We can absorb intelligence and wisdom, and we can also be taught lessons. I love book from my heart, form book I know how to communicate with others, and I learn my homeland is the place I love best, and also I know my parents are the very individuals who I love through my life. What about the television? Television, sometimes, show violence, sex, drugs beyond our choice.
幽默英语演讲稿4
Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.
“Let’s go to the fair, Matt,” his wife said. “We haven’t been anywhere for a long time.”
Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, “All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. ”
They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
“Fun flights!” the notice said, “ $$ 10 for 10 minutes.
Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.
”I’ve only got $$ 10, “ he told the pilot. ”Can my wife come with me for free?“ The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, ”I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight.“
Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.
When the plane landed, the pilot said, ”0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free.“
”Thank you,“ Matt said. ”It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out.“
幽默英语演讲稿5
A helping hand
A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.
He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.
”Is this yours?“ he asked.
She said, ”Yes, could you bring it up?“ and the man agreed.
On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, ”I'm about to have dinner. There's plenty. Would you like to join me?“
He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, ”I've had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?“
The man hesitated then said, ”Do you act like this with every man you meet?“
”No,“ she replied, ”Only those who catch my eye.“
幽默英语演讲稿6
Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.
”Let’s go to the fair, Matt,“ his wife said. ”We haven’t been anywhere for a long time.“
Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, ”All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. “
They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
”Fun flights!“ the notice said, ” $$ 10 for 10 minutes.
Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.
“I’ve only got $$ 10, ” he told the pilot. “Can my wife come with me for free?” The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, “I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight.”
Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.
When the plane landed, the pilot said, “0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free.”
“Thank you,” Matt said. “It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out.”
幽默英语演讲稿7
BUYING A HAT
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: “An excellent choice, madam. You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!” To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: “I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!”
买帽子
一位妇女到一家帽子店买帽子。她很挑剔，用了很长时间才选好了一顶。已经忍耐到极限的售货员害怕她再改变主意，便恭维她：“你做了极好的选择，夫人。你戴上这顶帽子看上去起码年轻十岁!”但令他沮丧的是，这位女士马上摘下了她的帽子说：“我不想要一顶摘下来便使我立刻显得老十岁的帽子。多拿一些帽子给我看看!
幽默英语演讲稿8
Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old.
Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again.
After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket.
But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?”
“No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”
汤姆是个小孩， 他才7岁。
当他去电影院的时候。那时他第一次去。他买了张票进去了。 但没过两三分钟他就出来了，然后买了第二张票又进去了。
几分钟后他又出来买了第三张票。 接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。
一个女的问她，“你为什么要买那么多票啊? 你见到了几个朋友?”
“没有， 我里面没朋友， 但是每当我进门的时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了”
幽默英语演讲稿9
Mary was an English girl, but she lived in Rome. She was six years old. Last year her mother said to her, “You’re six years old now, Mary, and you’re going to begin going to a school here. You’re going to like it very much, because it’s a nice school.” “Is it an English school” Mary asked.” Yes, it is,” her mother said. Mary went to the school, and enjoyed her lessons. Her mother always took her to school in the morning and brought her home in the afternoon. Last Monday her mother went to the school at 4 o’clock, and Mary ran out of her class. “We’ve got a new girl in our class today, Mummy,” she said. “She’s six years old too, and she’s very nice, but she isn’t English. She’s German.” “Does she speak English” Mary’s mother asked.” No, but she laughs in English,” Mary said happily.
幽默英语演讲稿10
Good morning teachers and fellow students. Today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you.
My favorite book is (Italian: Cuore). This is a diary written by an Italian boy Enrico. The diary is about his life and study. It included various touching stories that happened around Enrico, the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten “monthly” stories told by his teacher during the class. Every word in the chapter describes the word “love”. From patriotism to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching.
This novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love. I really like this book very much. How about you? What is your favorite book?
My favorite book is . Have you read it before?
Oh, I haven’t read this book before. What is it about?
Well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bankruptcy of her father. The story is happy ending.
Can you tell us why you love this book so much?
Sure. It is because the story taught us to be brave and to face the challenges and difficulties with courage. I am deeply impressed by the strength and perseverance of the little princess in the story. I have decided to learn from her from now on.
Oh I see, the story sounds very good. I cannot wait to read this book as well.
幽默英语演讲稿11
老板最大
There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000.
The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? Thats so expensive for this kindof parrot.”
The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.”
So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?”
The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. Thats why hes so expensive.”
Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?”
The owner of the shopsaid, “I dont know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him The Boss.”
有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉，其中一只卖五千元，另一只卖一万元，还有一只卖三万元。
顾客问老板：「为什么这只要卖五千元?这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了!」
老板说：「因为我有训练他讲话。」
顾客又问：「那这只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」
老板说：「他除了会说话之外，还会表演一些有趣的动作，好比说跳舞等等，所以才卖这么贵。」
顾客接着又问：「那第三只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」
老板说：「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌，也没看过他跳舞，什么都没有!不过另外两只叫他：『老板!』
幽默英语演讲稿12
A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate. Sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have a crush on someone else in the class, when theyre eight or ten years old or something like that. So the eight-year-oldkid came back home and asked his father, “Father, is it expensive to be married?” And the father said, “Yes, son, it is very expensive.” So the son asked, “How much does it cost?” And the father said, “I dont know, son. Im still paying.”
有个小孩爱上了另一个小孩，对方是学校的同学。八岁或十岁左右的孩子有时会迷恋班上某个人，然后就以为自己恋爱了。因此这个八岁的小孩回家问他爸爸：「爸爸，结婚很花钱吗?」爸爸说：「是啊，儿子，非常花钱。」儿子又问：「要花多少钱呢?」爸爸说：「我不知道，儿子，我到现在还一直在付钱啊!」
幽默英语演讲稿13
Earn english not only because of its importance and its usefulness,but also because of my love for it.when i learn english, i can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.when i read english novels,i can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.when i speak english, i can feel the confident from my words.when i write english,i can see the beauty which is not the same as our chinese...
I love english,it gives me a colorful dream.i hope i can travel around the world one day. with my good english, i can make friends with many people from different contries.i can see many places of great intrests.i dream that i can go to london,because it is the birth place of english.
I also want to use my good english to introduce our great places to the english spoken people,i hope that they can love our country like us.
I know, rome was not built in a day. i believe that after continuous hard study, one day i can speak english very well. if you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. so i believe as i love english everyday , it will love me too.
I am sure that i will realize my dream one day!
Thank you!
幽默英语演讲稿14
Good morning teachers and fellow students. Today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you.
My favorite book is (Italian: Cuore). This is a diary written by an Italian boy Enrico. The diary is about his life and study. It included various touching stories that happened around Enrico, the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten “monthly” stories told by his teacher during the class. Every word in the chapter describes the word “love”. From patriotism to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching.
This novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love. I really like this book very much. How about you? What is your favorite book?
My favorite book is . Have you read it before?
Oh, I haven t read this book before. What is it about?
Well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bankruptcy of her father. The story is happy ending.
Can you tell us why you love this book so much?
Sure. It is because the story taught us to be brave and to face the challenges and difficulties with courage. I am deeply impressed by the strength and perseverance of the little princess in the story. I have decided to learn from her from now on.
Oh I see, the story sounds very good. I cannot wait to read this book as well.
幽默英语演讲稿15
Love Your Mother
爱你的母亲
Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.
“Because I'm a woman,” she told him.
因为我是女人,她告诉他.
“I don't understand,” he said.
我不明白.他回答
His Mom just hugged him and said,
“And you never will, but that's O.K.”.......
妈妈拥抱了他说,“你永远也不会明白,但没关系...”
Later the little boy asked his father,
“Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?”.
后来小男孩问他的父亲“妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?”
“All women cry for no reason,” was all his Dad could say......
“所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣”,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的..
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,
他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked “God, why do women cry so easily?”
最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问“上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?”
GOD answered......
上帝回答:
“When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...
”当我创造女人的时候,
我决定把她造的很特别,
我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是,
却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...
I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛,
也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害,
甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...
I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickneand fatigue without
complaining....
我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进,
并且照顾自己的家人和朋友,
甚至当每个人都放弃的时候,
她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all yanjianggao/ircumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....
She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....
我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候...
她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧...
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错.我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的.心脏...
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....
我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心.
For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and
it is her only weakness....
When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.
因为这些种种的困难，
我也同样赐她流下眼泪，
这是当她在需要时可以使用的，
这是她唯一的软弱之处...
当你看到她哭泣的时候，
告诉她你有多么地爱她，
告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，
即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，
但你会使她的心里得到安慰.
She is special!
Please send this to women you know, and those with mothers,
sisters, and special women in their lives.
她是独特的!
请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人， 有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人.
But, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.
Each day is a mountain that must be climbed; with courage each step gets easier.
但是，也把这个信息传递给男人，因此他们会明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物.
每一天，生活中都会有必须爬的山，但是勇气会使每一步都更轻松.
Love your Mother Always
永远爱你的母亲，
and keep her Smiling
并且使她微笑常在
幽默英语演讲稿16
Love Your Mother
Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
“Because I'm a woman,” she told him.
“I don't understand,” he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said,
“And you never will, but that's O.K.”.......
Later the little boy asked his father,
“Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?”.
“All women cry for no reason,” was all his Dad could say......
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked “God, why do women cry so easily?”
GOD answered......
“When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...
I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining....
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....
She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....
For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and
it is her only weakness....
When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.
She is special!
Please send this to women you know, and those with mothers,
sisters, and special women in their lives.
But, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.
Each day is a mountain that must be climbed; with courage each step gets easier.
Love your Mother Always
and keep her Smiling
幽默英语演讲稿17
Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.
”Let’s go to the fair, Matt,“ his wife said. ”We haven’t been anywhere for a long time.“
Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, ”All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. “
They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
”Fun flights!“ the notice said, ” $$ 10 for 10 minutes.
Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.
“I’ve only got $$ 10, ” he told the pilot. “Can my wife come with me for free?” The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, “I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight.”
Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.
When the plane landed, the pilot said, “0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free.”
“Thank you,” Matt said. “It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out.”
第3篇：幽默英语演讲稿
love your mother
爱你的母亲
why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?
你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.“because i'm a woman,” she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.“i don't understand,” he said.我不明白.他回答
his mom just hugged him and said,“and you never will, but that's o.k.”.......妈妈拥抱了他说,“你永远也不会明白,但没关系...”
later the little boy asked his father,“why does mom seem to cry for no reason?
第4篇：英语幽默演讲稿
英语幽默演讲稿（共12篇）由网友 “zwflmy” 投稿提供，以下是小编为大家汇总后的英语幽默演讲稿，希望对大家有所帮助。
篇1：幽默英语演讲稿
幽默英语演讲稿
Love Your Mother爱你的母亲
Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.
“Because I'm a woman,” she told him.
因为我是女人,她告诉他.
“I don't understand,” he said.
我不明白.他回答
His Mom just hugged him and said,
“And you never will, but that's O.K.”.......
妈妈拥抱了他说,“你永远也不会明白,但没关系...
第5篇：三分钟幽默英语演讲稿
新初中幽默英语演讲稿 love your mother 爱你的母亲
why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答
his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no
第6篇：初中幽默英语演讲稿_演讲稿
初中幽默英语演讲稿_演讲稿
演讲稿可以按照用途、性质等来划分，是演讲上一个重要的准备工作。在当下社会，越来越多地方需要用到演讲稿，你知道演讲稿怎样才能写的'好吗？下面是小编为大家收集的初中幽默英语演讲稿_演讲稿，欢迎阅读与收藏。
初中幽默英语演讲稿_演讲稿1
One of the most popular hobbies among people is reading books. More and more people spend their spare time in reading the books they are interested in.
There are so many books in the world that it is impossible for any one to
第7篇：三分钟英语演讲稿幽默
幽默英语演讲稿
love your mother 爱你的母亲
why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答
his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reas
第8篇：大学英语演讲稿幽默
新初中幽默英语演讲稿 love your mother 爱你的母亲
why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答
his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no
