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Lecture Two What is a loose sentence?
从修辞的角度来看，句子有松散句、圆周句和对偶句之分。松散句把主要意思放在次要意思之前，先说最重要的事情，因而读者在看到几个词后就知道这句话的主要内容了。
She decided to study English though she was interested in music.The Wangs must have gone away for the summer holidays, for we have not seen them for two or three weeks.松散句比较易懂，简单，自然和直接。
What is a periodic sentence?
再比较下面的句子：
Although she was interested in music, she finally decided to study English.观察上面的句子，可以知道：虽然意思表达和之前相同，主要意思都是她决定学英语。第一句中，主要意思放在句子的开头，在第二句则放在句子末尾。第一句的第一部分在结构上已经完整，而第二句的第一部分只是个状语从句，不加上第二句就不能成为一个句子。
把最重要的意思放在最后面或者靠后的位置上，并且句子的结构直到最后一个词时才完整。这样的句子叫做圆周句。例如：
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in poeion of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.(Jane Austen)上面的句子明显是个圆周句（掉尾句）。因为它的结构和意思在最后一个词之前都不完整。圆周句的结构按照逐步推向高潮的递进顺序形成。圆周句比较复杂、正式和文雅。
What is a balanced sentence?
两个结构相似但意思相反的平行从句便是对偶句。
On hearing the new, he was angered, and I was saddened.The politician is concerned with succeful elections, whereas the statesman is interested in the future of his people.In Plato’s opinion man was made for philosophy;in Bacon’s opinion philosophy was made for man.对偶句会给人留下深刻的印象，因为它含有相反的意思，而且因节奏和谐而悦耳。对偶句主要用于说明文，议论文及演说等正式文体中。
What is an effective sentence?
1.Completene(完整)完整是好句子的第一要点。一个完整的句子表达单一的完整思想,意思必须紧密相关。
例1.（Faulty）Born in a small town in South China in the early 50s, he grew up to be a famous musician.(Revised)He was born in a small town in South China in the early 50s.In his childhood he liked to sing songs.Later he entered a conservatory.In the 70s he became a famous musician.例2.Faulty：Do Fu was one of the greatest poet.Revised: Du Fu was one of the greatest poets of the Tang Period.2.连贯(Coherence)
连贯是指句子各部分之间清楚而合理的联系。句子中的词语和部分应恰当地衔接，它们之间的关系应十分清楚。不连贯的句子通常有以下几种毛病： a.平行结构使用有误
例1． A man is judged not only by what he says but also by his deeds.Revised: A man is judged not only by what he says but also by what he does.Revised: A man is judged not only by his words but also by his deeds.例2．We thought she was charming, intelligent, and a very capable young woman.Revised: We thought she was charming, intelligent, and very capable.Revised: We thought she was a charming, intelligent, and very capable young woman.例3． We have great faith and high hopes for her.Revised: We have great faith in and high hopes for her.b.代词指代不清楚
例1.She told my sister that she was wrong.例2.He was knocked down by a bicycle, but it was not serious.Revised：He was knocked down by a bicycle, but was not badly hurt.例3.I'm gonging to the lecture on modern Chinese drama, because he is a dramatist I like.c.修饰语和被修饰语之间的关系不明确
例1.Looking out of the window, the graland stretches as far as the eye can reach.例2.On entering the claroom, the students stood up and said, “Good morning!” 例3.To get ready for the trip, all the things she needed were put into a suitcase.这些句子因为用了悬垂结构，句子缺少了连贯性，句子意思就让人费解。当然，也有一些固定的说法，如：to be frank, generally speaking, judging by…, speaking of…, just to name a few…
再看下面的一些句子：
例1.She put into her bag the picture books she had bought for her children.例2.She bought several pictures books and put them into her bag, which she intended to give to her children.Revised: She bought several picture books for her children and put them into her bag.例3.The idea he mentioned at first sounded good.例4.The idea he mentioned sounded good at first.Revised: The idea he first mentioned sounded good.例5.He gave a reason for not attending the meeting, which nobody believed.例6.He gave a reason for not attending the meeting, a reason which nobody believed.Revised: He gave a reason, which nobody believed, for not attending the meeting.d.人称、数、语气和语态上变动混乱
例1.An important thing for the student to remember is that when writing a paper, you should not plagiarize.例2.Those who wish to take Linguistics are expected to sign his name on this sheet of paper.例3.Students should learn to analyze and solve problems independently.Don’t rely on your teachers’ help.例4.She reviewed the leon taught last week and all the exercises aigned by the teacher were done.以上句子前后不一致，变动混乱，写作时应该避免不必要的变动。3.简洁性（Concisene)
句中不应有任何不必要的词。只要意思充分表达了，用词越少越好。用词过多只会意思模糊，而不是更清晰。人们常常用不必要的词，所以最好在写完一篇文章后，仔细检查一两遍，看看有没有一些可删去而又不影响意思表达。试比较： 例1.Wordy：It was blue in color.例2.It was small in size.例3.Mary is a quiet and careful woman.例4.He returned in the early part of the month of August.Concise:
1.It was blue.2.It was small.3.Mary is quiet and careful.4.He returned in the early August.请看下面的句子，想想如何更加简洁：
(1)He gave many reasons for the failure, but the reasons he gave were not convincing.(2)In my opinion, I think your plan is feasible.(3)This machine was jointly designed by the old engineer in collaboration with some of his younger colleagues.(4)There was a pine tree that stood like a giant on the top of the mountain.It towered over the trees around it.(5)Mr.Smith usually like to drink all kinds of wines that are produced in France.(6)Li Qing, who was a first-year student of the college, would go to a park near her school every day in the morning.She would bring a small recorder with her.In park she would find a quiet corner and listen to a tape of English stories.Revised:
(1)He gave many reasons for the failure, but none of them was convincing.(代词指代重复内
容使得句子更加简洁）
(2)In my opinion, your plan is feasible.I think your plan is feasible.(3)This machine was jointly designed by the old engineer and some of younger colleagues.This machine was designed by the old engineer in collaboration with some of his younger colleagues.(4)The pine tree on the top of the mountain stood like a giant and towered over the trees around it.The giant pine tree on the top of the mountain towered over the trees around it.On the top of the mountain was a giant tree which towered over the trees around it.(5)Mr.Smith prefers wines produced in France.Mr.Smith prefers French wine.(6)Every morning, Li Qing, a first-year student of the college, would go to a nearby park, bringing a small recorder with her.There she would listen to a tape of English stories in a quiet corner.小结：好的句子要做到完整，连贯，逻辑关系清晰，简洁，这四条是基本要求；当然除此以外，如果重点内容突出，句式多变，则更加锦上添花。这些都不是一朝一夕可以做到，需要大量练习。
Exercises 下列句子不够完整或不够连贯或不够简洁，请加以修改：(1 I read the novel on the train, which didn’t interest me at all.(2)A well-dreed man admitted us to the house, and we later learned that he was a thief.(3)I lost some important documents and found them three days later.The police had helped me.(4)Tell Helen, if she is at home, I will come to see her.(5)Listening attentively, a faulty sound was heard.(6）On entering the room, no one was seen.(7)Fred is energetic, capable and a man you can rely on.(8）My watch is either fast or yours is slow.(9)He nearly finished reading ten books during the vacation.(10)To tell my friend the good news the letter was posted at once.(11)I will go to the lecture, for I like his poems.(12)Dickens’ novels offer no solution to the social injustices he exposes in them.(13)There are more books in their library than in our library.(14)We planned to meet just before sunrise very early in the morning.(15)The cause of the flood was due to the heavy rain in late spring.(16)It seemed to his friends that his attitude was of a puzzling nature.(17)He did not tell the truth with an honest attitude.(18)Zhao was the person who was elected the representative of the cla by the whole cla.(19)What I am trying to say is that in my opinion he has not done his work very well and its needs improving.(20）You must first work out an outline for your paper, and then after you have done that, you need to collect all kinds of material to support your point of view.(21)This pretty actre keeps appearing in Tv serials repeatedly.(22)One reason why people are well informed in this country is because of the fact that there are many newspapers which can easily be bought or subscribed to.(23)There are about 50 patients or so in this ward, among whom many are being given acupuncture treatment.(24)Whatever he does, he works seriously with great care, and does his best so as to do it well.(25)She said that she would come if she could, but not to wait for her.练习题答案：
1.On the train I read the novel, which didn’t interest me at all.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.11.12.13.14.15.16.17.18.19.20.21.22.23.24.25.We later learned that the well-dreed man who admitted us to the house was a thief.The police helped me to find some important documents which I had lost three days before.Tell Helen that I will come to see her if she is at home.Listening attentively, I heard a faulty sound.I entered the room and saw no one.Fred is energetic, capable.You can rely on him.Either my watch is fast or yours is slow.He finished reading nearly/almost ten books during the vacation.To tell my friend the good news, I posted the letter at once.I will go to the lecture, for I like the speaker’s poems.Dickens’ novels offer no solution to the social injustices exposed in him.Their library has more books than ours.去掉very early 去掉the cause of To his friends his attitude was a puzzle.He did not tell the truth.The whole cla elected Zhao their representative.I mean that he has not done his work well enough.去掉first, after you have done that 去掉repeatedly 去掉because of the fact , which can, be There are about 50 patients in this ward, and many are being given acupuncture treatment.去掉with great care, so as to do it well 后半句改为but we needn’t wait for her
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