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4人英语短剧剧本[搞笑版大话西游] Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物:T唐僧(郭伟)S:孙悟空(邹婷)E:猪八戒和N:哪吒(肖细敏)B:白骨精 B1:B变成的村姑 B2:B变成的太婆 B3:B变化成的老头(钟慧)T: Emitofo, do you know where we are now? S: Bajie, map!E: Could you speak to me with a good attitude?Anyway, I was supreme marshal!(一丝得意)S: supreme marshal?(先假装奉承的笑,继而强势的说)It is impoible forever!(八戒不开心不情愿的摸出,递给S)S: Look, master(凑近T)„„„(T、S一齐转向E)
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, not to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!E: Oh, master!Forgive me,I’ll bring the map to you soon!(伸手拿回)T:(缩手)No, I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west.E: But„„
T: Emitofo, nothing is lust, lust is nothing!Map? E:(递)Here.Em„„ We have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!It is said there is a monster called white bone.B: Yes, I’m Mi White.I’m living in the mountain at all times.Everyone called me monster even if I don’t like it.As everyone knows, if someone eats Tangseng’s meat, he would be never getting old.Now I hear that he will pa by, this is a good opportunity to eat him.Ha ha ha„„ E: Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!A lustful and lazy fat pig!E: Monkey, if you dare to say these two words once again, I will, I will„„„.S: You will what? You can what?(凶相)E: I will„(很不怕的样子,继而一下子软弱下来)help you catch fleas.S: Hum!As I expected,you are just a timid fat pig.T:(轻咳)Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry.Could you go to get me some food? E: You see, I’m not the only one who is hungry, master is hungry, too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!(八戒羞愧的表情)E: Oh!Master, There is a problem.If a monster comes while brother monkey is away„..T: Em„„.It is a problem.Wukong, do you have any idea? S: No problem!I already had the solution(安装)(B已躲在一旁偷看)E: This is„? S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books.So I made this.No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em„„Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific!Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bajie!Remember not to let stranger in.Bye!(走)E: OK!Brother Monkey, take more things to eat.Bye!B: Hm!Hm!Electric net? You want to use it against me? You are too childish.En„ I need a way to deal with it.E:(转身对师傅说)Monster, we can’t go out until brother monkey come back.So we should do something to kill time? T: Let’s play cards!E: Great!I like to play cards very much!(二人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》 B: haha!I have an idea.(先变成一个丑女)Oh,on on.It is said that Zhu Baijie is a Lustful pig.So I should create a beautiful girl.(变成一个美女)(走上前,对八戒说)Hi!Handsome boy!E: Hi!Belle!What can I do for you?(色迷迷的)B: I want to play cards with you.Can I join you? E: Of course!But„„
B: What’s wrong? Don't you want to play with me? E: Of course, I want to play with you very much.But Brother Monkey told me not to let strangers in, because he was afraid that there will be the monster.B: Monster?!Don’t you think I like the monster? E: Not at all.B: You are right.I’m not a monster.You are not only handsome but also very smart.E: Hehehe„You're an cute girl.(转身对唐僧说)master, I’m sure she isn’t a monster, can you let her in? T:(瞪了瞪八戒,转身对B说)I’m sorry, girl.We are playing Fighting against Landlord and two people are enough.B1: Oh, it’s a pity.But I’m happy to watch you playing cards too.(在一旁观看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!If you do it, you will win.T: Oh„.I win!Em„„, Girl, you are a master-hand.Please come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)B1: OK!This is an honor for me.I will try my best to teach you.S:(回来,看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1:(一边躲闪一边叫到)I’m not a monster, please don’t kill me.(被打倒)Ah„„You!!(指着孙悟空转而对唐僧说道)I do not have the opportunity to teach you, I hope you can contribute on playing cards.T: I will(悲伤).(气愤)Wukong!What have you done?!She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh, please don’t„„
T: It’s too late!(唱)Once more„„You open the door„(泰坦尼克主题曲,走音离谱)S: Please, Please, oh, no„„(痛苦抱头)T:(呛住,咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B:(真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, you think you are invincible;I’ll teach you a leon and let you know what wisdom is!(变成太婆)B2: Dear, where are you? Dear!Excuse me, have you seen my daughter? T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No, sorry!I haven’t seen anyone.(陪笑,B2想看后面是什么,T挡)S:(咬牙切齿)You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后,S打,不想打到T头,T晕,S再打死B2)E: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)Look,(伸食指)how many? T: Two„(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game is over!(变成B3)B3:(看到B1,B2尸体)Hello!My wife and daughter are miing.I can’t find them.Oh„ my daughter, my wife!Who did it?!(哭喊)E: he„(指着孙悟空)B3: You?!Why kill my wife? Why kill my daughter? I will kill you!!(冲向孙)S: Kill me?!It’s too ridiculous.I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T:(想阻止,未及)You, you.....(险些晕,E扶住)You have killed three lives!S: No, they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster? You are a real monster!Never let me see you, go!S: You will regret.(悲,离去)(音乐,营造 “假”悲伤气氛)《人鬼情未了》 E: Master, brother Monkey is.......T: Scratch!Don't mention that guy any more!B:(出现)Ha,ha,ha!I can eat the meat of Tangseng.I’ll live forever.(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T:(惊)You are......B: I’m a monster, Sun Wukong is right.How foolish you are, Mr Tang!(E去阻斗,被击退)(抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S:(悄悄走到B后,打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong? E: Oh, Brother Monkey!Our hero is back!T: I, I can't understand......What happened? S: Master, your IQ needs increasing!This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How, how did you find out? S:(沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)N: Excuse me, where is the criminal? S;Ah......you are too late, Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.N:(摇醒B)You are under arrest.(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!B: hey„Unexpectedly, I failed.Sun Wukong is really a clever monkey.(带走B)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)S: What? T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder, please? T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)(音乐响)《敢问路在何方》(这个放伴奏)
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